Audition Posting Day

Tomorrow is the day I post audition results. This is one of my least favorite days of the year.

At PMEA festivals, the directors call the 15 minute break that occurs after results are announced as "Grieving and Gloating Time". It's a nasty combination of tears and smug expressions. It isn't any better when I post results on the choir room door.

Some will throw their arms around me to thank me - as if getting in to a certain choir were some sort of special favor that I granted them because I like them, rather than the result of a well-sung audition. I never want to be that kind of a choir director. I could never stand the teachers who played favorites, and want to avoid it as much as I can. That's why I use three judges, instead of my opinion alone.

Their will be crying girls. If success isn't immediate, in their minds it means that they are horrible singers, and will never succeed. I warn them against tying up their self-worth with the results of one audition, but it goes in one ear and out the other.

School isn't like real life, but on audition posting day it is more like it than most. There are winners and losers. There is success and failure. They get one shot each year, and their are no do-overs. They can't do extra-credit work to sneak in the back door. They make it or they don't based on how well they perform.

Part of the beauty of choral music is the fact that it brings so many disparate people together and creates something beautiful. It is one of the ultimate expressions of "e pluribus, unum". No one rides the bench, no one is unimportant. We all add our distinct voices to the whole, and the result is vastly superior to the sum of the individual parts. Good individually, but as a group - absolutely incredible. It is a beautiful thing, and a wonderful experience.

But before we get there, I have to post that list. Some who aren't on it will label themselves as failures and drop out of choir. Such a loss. It's like a toddler giving up on walking when the first few steps aren't very graceful. My favorites are the ones who think, "just wait until they hear me NEXT year," vow to work harder, and take voice lessons. No one ever believes me, but I prefer them to the ones who are already excellent singers when they arrive. I feel as if I have made a bigger difference in the lives of the greatly improved rather than the greatly talented.